my teenage life

  Once I had a memory about my past, I remember yesterday and looking further into who I am now. My memory was that I was a bad teenage girl who used to behave bad with mom and in school because I used to cut classes, hangout with boys, smoke marijuana, party and also stay in the streets. When I decided to go home one or two weeks later Also I was drinking alcohol and doing what I wasn’t supposed to do. Yesterday I found some papers that my mother did. She went to the precinct and filled out a report about me. I was in shock and didn’t have any words for it, but I kept on reading…. She wanted me to be arrested because of so much hate that I had inside me towards my mother. We were always fighting and she couldn’t handle me. I wanted to kill her. Maybe because of what happened to me. I starting thinking that I never imagined myself being what I am now. I have been married and with two babies. I also have a good husband and my own house. I can’t believe it. Sometimes I think to myself, “am I different from others?” If I was still like that bad girl what would happen to me? I think that a lot of stuff would happen to me. Maybe I won’t be here where I am. But everything that happened to me was because of my step father and what he did to me. Maybe if he didn’t take my childhood when I was fifteen years old, I wouldn’t be in school not pregnant and stopping schoolwork, and having a grown up life. I wish he wouldn’t do that to me but, hey, maybe because of that I am where I am now. I wish he were dead or in jail but he’s not. He’s free because my mother freed him from jail. But my life changed because of my daughter. She made me stop what I used to be. Also, therapy helped me a lot and I don’t want what to happen to my daughter, so I stepped up and I feel very proud of myself and since I’ve grown up. I am standing up for my daughter and my family. Right now the way I feel about my mom is different emotions because I still have those questions to ask her. Why didn’t she believe me? And after what happened she got back with him in my own house. And now I understand what it feels like being a mother and that if my daughter does that to me, I will feel very hurt. But if something happens to her I am going to believe her. I already know not to do the same mistake they did with me. That’s too bad right!!!!